The Single Me/Moving

Yeah it's a post about me been single for a long long time.

11 Years Single But More Like Twenty

I mean it's been the single life for so long and I can't even remember exactly what the date was when I turned into a single guy. And out of all those years only one women have me those special feelings and I can't explain why. I mean yeah I've liked plenty of women, some I got on well with but there was never those feelings. If I dismiss my ex and our one and a half year relationship then it's really been twenty years single. I mean I never loved my ex or had any real or true feelings for her. So really I've only had real true feelings for one person in twenty years and yet we are not close, in fact further away from each other than we have ever been because of a misunderstanding and that's me being polite. Anyway its is one thing having feelings for someone and another thing having a relationship with someone. I am on the side of not really wanting a relationship at all because I don't need the hastle that comes with them. I am really lonely but I know I am best on my own. So one women in twenty years who I have had real feelings for and I would have to say that even though I feel like I do about her I just couldn't be with her even if she wanted to be with me. I mean I don't know her well enough and with what I do know she would not pass my minimum requirements as mentioned on my post The Best Women Ever

https://www.eclipsead76.com/post/the-best-women-ever

I mean I could ask myself the question, "Do feelings mean more than thinking?" It's a big question. I mean I totally adore this woman and yet she fails in my requirements which comes from my thinking. So yeah I know i am just thinking about this, I doubt she wants anything to do with me but thinking about this is good. I mean let's say she wanted to be with me and because of my feelings I agree, we fall in love and yeah for a while things would be great but then those requirements would come into play. I would then realise that maybe I had got myself into a relationship that was doomed because she never met my requirements and was actually no good for me. Of course for all I know because I don't know her well enough she could pass my requirements and truly be the best woman ever. It's that risk factor and I certainly would be very concerned about committing myself to someone without knowing then well enough with the feelings or not. That leads me on to the next part of my post.

Moving Home

As some of my regular fans may know my mum died and I live in her house and I own half of it. This house is going to be sold and I am going to have to move out of it. I have no idea if I will buy something or rent but I can't wait to leave now. Too many memories of mum and my past life. Too much pain like when my mum was critically ill. This house was where I lived as a child, my first home and it's time I left it behind to my history book.

The house will be sold and I will have a lot of money, my inheritance. Wether I buy somewhere or rent is an uncertainty presently. I am exited about getting my own place, this house just feels like mum's house and always will do. Getting my first place that is just mine is exiting.

If I Found A Girlfriend

If I found a girlfriend it would just complicate things. I mean let's pretend I moved in with a girlfriend then if I got my money from the sale of mums house, any benefits she was claiming would go because of my money. I would not want to be spending my inheritance on a girlfriend and wasting it away would I. Finding someone would financial complicate matters and it would be difficult. I am lonely and it's hard not having anybody care about you but at the same time I know I am in control of my life and not having anyone influence it and complicate it is good. I suppose the right woman for me would understand my situation and would want to work together to make it work for both of us.